登陆注册
15489900000026

第26章 CHAPTER X(1)

BEFORE dropping the curtain on my college days I must relate a little adventure which is amusing as an illustration of my reverend friend Napier's enthusiastic spontaneity. My own share in the farce is a subordinate matter.

During the Christmas party at Holkham I had 'fallen in love,' as the phrase goes, with a young lady whose uncle (she had neither father nor mother) had rented a place in the neighbourhood. At the end of his visit he invited me to shoot there the following week. For what else had I paid him assiduous attention, and listened like an angel to the interminable history of his gout? I went; and before I left, proposed to, and was accepted by, the young lady. I was still at Cambridge, not of age, and had but moderate means.

As for the maiden, 'my face is my fortune' she might have said. The aunt, therefore, very properly pooh-poohed the whole affair, and declined to entertain the possibility of an engagement; the elderly gentleman got a bad attack of gout; and every wire of communication being cut, not an obstacle was wanting to render persistence the sweetest of miseries.

Napier was my confessor, and became as keen to circumvent the 'old she-dragon,' so he called her, as I was. Frequent and long were our consultations, but they generally ended in suggestions and schemes so preposterous, that the only result was an immoderate fit of laughter on both sides. At length it came to this (the proposition was not mine): we were to hire a post chaise and drive to the inn at G-. I was to write a note to the young lady requesting her to meet me at some trysting place. The note was to state that a clergyman would accompany me, who was ready and willing to unite us there and then in holy matrimony; that I would bring the licence in my pocket; that after the marriage we could confer as to ways and means; and that - she could leave the REST to me.

No enterprise was ever more merrily conceived, or more seriously undertaken. (Please to remember that my friend was not so very much older than I; and, in other respects, was quite as juvenile.)

Whatever was to come of it, the drive was worth the venture.

The number of possible and impossible contingencies provided for kept us occupied by the hour. Furnished with a well-filled luncheon basket, we regaled ourselves and fortified our courage; while our hilarity increased as we neared, or imagined that we neared, the climax. Unanimously we repeated Dr. Johnson's exclamation in a post chaise: 'Life has not many things better than this.'

But where were we? Our watches told us that we had been two hours covering a distance of eleven miles.

'Hi! Hullo! Stop!' shouted Napier. In those days post horses were ridden, not driven; and about all we could see of the post boy was what Mistress Tabitha Bramble saw of Humphrey Clinker. 'Where the dickens have we got to now?'

'Don't know, I'm sure, sir,' says the boy; 'never was in these 'ere parts afore.'

'Why,' shouts the vicar, after a survey of the landscape, 'if I can see a church by daylight, that's Blakeney steeple; and we are only three miles from where we started.'

Sure enough it was so. There was nothing for it but to stop at the nearest house, give the horses a rest and a feed, and make a fresh start, - better informed as to our topography.

It was past four on that summer afternoon when we reached our destination. The plan of campaign was cut and dried. I called for writing materials, and indicted my epistle as agreed upon.

'To whom are you telling her to address the answer?' asked my accomplice. 'We're INCOG. you know. It won't do for either of us to be known.'

'Certainly not,' said I. 'What shall it be? White? Black?

Brown? or Green?'

'Try Browne with an E,' said he. 'The E gives an aristocratic flavour. We can't afford to risk our respectability.'

The note sealed, I rang the bell for the landlord, desired him to send it up to the hall and tell the messenger to wait for an answer.

As our host was leaving the room he turned round, with his hand on the door, and said:

'Beggin' your pardon, Mr. Cook, would you and Mr. Napeer please to take dinner here? I've soom beatiful lamb chops, and you could have a ducklin' and some nice young peas to your second course. The post-boy says the 'osses is pretty nigh done up; but by the time - '

'How did you know our names?' asked my companion.

'Law sir! The post-boy, he told me. But, beggin' your pardon, Mr. Napeer, my daughter, she lives in Holkham willage; and I've heard you preach afore now.'

'Let's have the dinner by all means,' said I.

'If the Bishop sequesters my living,' cried Napier, with solemnity, 'I'll summon the landlord for defamation of character. But time's up. You must make for the boat-house, which is on the other side of the park. I'll go with you to the head of the lake.'

We had not gone far, when we heard the sound of an approaching vehicle. What did we see but an open carriage, with two ladies in it, not a hundred yards behind us.

'The aunt! by all that's - !'

What - I never heard; for, before the sentence was completed, the speaker's long legs were scampering out of sight in the direction of a clump of trees, I following as hard as I could go.

As the carriage drove past, my Friar Lawrence was lying in a ditch, while I was behind an oak. We were near enough to discern the niece, and consequently we feared to be recognised. The situation was neither dignified nor romantic. My friend was sanguine, though big ardour was slightly damped by the ditch water. I doubted the expediency of trying the boat-house, but he urged the risk of her disappointment, which made the attempt imperative.

The padre returned to the inn to dry himself, and, in due course, I rejoined him. He met me with the answer to my note. 'The boat-house,' it declared, 'was out of the question. But so, of course, was the POSSIBILITY of CHANGE.

We must put our trust in PROVIDENCE. Time could make NO difference in OUR case, whatever it might do with OTHERS.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 江山谋:锦墨玄书

    江山谋:锦墨玄书

    他,容墨,当今宰相的二公子,沉稳内敛她,苏锦,前朝将军的遗女,复南派的二小姐,矜贵聪慧。一次看似偶然的相遇让他和她从此纠缠一生。一张神秘难懂的千山图有何玄机?一本人人求而不得的玄书又有何惊天力量?总是戴着银色面具出现的男子背后是什么身份?无涯苏玉和翩翩佳公子喻苏是什么关系?这些非同寻常的人物在一起会发生什么样的事情?谁都不知道原来看似无欲无求对什么都是无所谓的人也有着想要倾覆天下的想法,平常的淡淡然只是不屑一顾;虽从小丧失亲父但却有一个待之如亲女的男人疼爱的女孩,多情敏感,对待感情很理智不将就清楚地知道自己需要什么并且敢于追求,她最后又能否得到自己想要的幸福?世间安得双全法,不负江山不负卿……
  • 炫女人

    炫女人

    为什么总承认自己是弱者?为什么总说自己最终将受伤?曾有位男性文友这样跟我说:为什么上帝在造人的时候,没给女人太多的理性成分,她们的感性不但让男人们望女人兴叹,同时也酿成了太多的爱情悲剧!
  • 我欲斩仙

    我欲斩仙

    神州大陆,一位叫做何天的少年,将在此处谱写一个流传万古,至尊无敌的神话,且看主角如何在次次危机之中脱难,最终称霸九天十地,唯我独尊!
  • A幻

    A幻

    每个人都有做梦的权利,现实往往很现实,美梦真的可以很美梦。当我满头大汗正在制造美味时,脑袋瓜里却在想象“智人在帮我搞定一切,他从容的端上最后一锅汤,绅士地邀请我品尝”。……可是很多年之后,我很满足自己在品尝那锅汤。
  • 僵尸王的童养媳:你丫的别咬我啊

    僵尸王的童养媳:你丫的别咬我啊

    本来是偷学师傅的招魂术,谁知道倒霉催的我竟然召唤粗了僵尸王上来就给我一口!WHAT?你说我是你媳妇?不可能不可能!伦家明明是一个美少女哪里能和你这个凶残货在一起!虽然说我不是你媳妇,可素你也对我太好了一点吧?唯一让我不明白的是为啥你丫的上来说不几句话就咬我呢?被摧残了一段时间后我竟然奇迹般的不被他咬就觉得的他不是我认识的那货?卧槽!难不成是姑娘我被你咬傻了??“小乖!龇!你看牙齿痒痒”某凶残货龇着牙软萌软萌的看着我“喏!给大黄的磨牙棒你先用用吧!”“不要磨牙棒,要兔叽”凶残货扔掉磨牙棒蠢蠢欲动的看着我说道“我擦!你要兔叽,我特么还想要母鸡呢!”“母鸡没有公鸡要吗?”凶残货指了指特殊地方问道!
  • 遇魂记,鬼王的诅咒

    遇魂记,鬼王的诅咒

    你来了,我等你很久了。别到处看,说的就是你。你很早之前就被鬼王诅咒了,这书……你不看下去的话,诅咒便应验了……倔强不服输的女主角误闯灵异时空门,踏上惊悚的遇魂路。生在道士世家的男主角作法命丧黄泉,阴魂遇上了女主角。男主角已为鬼,无力捉拿鬼王,女主角学法助其一臂之力。千年鬼王蓄谋百年,开启阴阳两界之门,设局陷害男女主角。最终不敌人鬼情深,鬼王大限之日立下轮回诅咒。男女主角生生世世相遇相爱,却生生世世阴阳相隔。
  • 腹黑冷少蛇蝎妻

    腹黑冷少蛇蝎妻

    她是一名红颜祸水级的村花,他是一个腹黑的总裁,她还在六年前将他甩了,但是命运却令他们在六年之后再次重逢,于是,这又会发生怎样的惊天动地的爱情故事。
  • 灰姑娘守则

    灰姑娘守则

    每个人心里都在筑一座城,一砖一瓦地加高城墙,直到有一天,才发现,不仅别人进不来,自己也无法出去。相爱的人,要为爱自己、自己爱的人拆了心城。似乎,无论走到哪里,只要抬起头来,他就在她的面前。这只是一个YY的都市童话。
  • 王者强势归来:花落无情

    王者强势归来:花落无情

    千年前的王者强势归来。那一次,她忍痛把他一人丢下,他发了疯全世界找她,可是,她留下的只是一棵枯萎的梅花树。她说过:我死梅树死。从那以后他时时刻刻想忘了她。他说她无情无义,为何让他爱上她之后而她又离开他。千年后,她带着四人强势归来,而她的心已死,记忆已被抹去。他终抱得美人归,还是落得那千年前的结局。一生一世一双人,半梦半醒半浮生。
  • 婚意绵绵:总裁不请自来

    婚意绵绵:总裁不请自来

    “女人,这三年,你爱过我吗?”“过去三年我们的见面不超过十次,没有一见钟情也没有日久生情,爱上你?还是等下辈子吧。”她冷冷的挣开他的手,后退一步将自己放在安全距离之中。顾寒生手指一挑,“可,我对你感兴趣了呢。”苏浅卿仿若听见笑话一般,她嗤笑后,“兴趣?”他单手搭在苏浅卿一侧的肩膀上,笑的暧昧,而后扬长而去。她用力的将门摔上,“呸呸呸!臭男人!”