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第25章 TWO LITTLE pLAyS

I.-The Boy That Hated CoWs.

(Scene I.-The living-room of a small farm-house. Time: 5 o"clock in the afternoon. Teddy West is lying on the sofa, reading a picture book.)Mrs. West.-Come, Teddy; it"s time to bring in the cows.

Teddy.-Oh, mother, wait a bit. I want to see what the giant did.

[Five minutes go by. Then Mary West, Teddy"s sister, comes to the door.]

Mary.-Teddy, you ought to get the cows. It"s your turn to-day. You know that as well as I do. Get up, you lazy fellow.

Teddy.-Oh, bother the cows!

[Mary goes out. After a time, Teddy"s father appears.]

Mr. West (sternly).-Edward, the cows!

Teddy (laying down his book, and moving slowlytowards the door).-I hate cows. I wish we didn"t have any. Cows are no good; they"re only a worry to everybody. I hate cows and all belonging to them.

(Scene II.-The dining-room, an hour later. The members of the West family are seated. A round of beef is smoking on the table, but there is no meat on Teddy" s plate.)Teddy.-Father, may I have some meat?

Mr. West.-Teddy, this is beef, and you know you hate cows.

Teddy.-Well, I suppose I can have some bread and butter.

Mrs. West.-No butter, Teddy. We get our butter from the cow, and you hate cows.

Teddy.-Mary, there"s no milk in my tea.

Mary.-Of course there isn"t, Teddy. You wouldn"t have milk that a cow gave you. You hate cows.

Teddy.-Well, if I can"t have butter, I"ll have a bit of cheese.

Mr. West.-Oh, no, Teddy; that also comes from the cow, and you hate cows and all their works.

Mrs. West.-Mary, bring in the baked custard. We"ll all enjoy that, all but Teddy. There"s milk in the custard, and milk comes from the cow, and Teddy hates cows.

Teddy (humbly).-Father, please pass me the cream.

Mr. West.-No, Teddy, I shall not pass you the cream. That is a gift from your foe, the cow.

Teddy.-It"s not fair [rising up]. I won"t sit at the table with you-boo-hoo-oo!

Mr. West.-It"s all right, Teddy. You can come back, and eat what we eat. Only, let this be a lesson to you.

(Curtain)

ii.-TryinG TO please EVerybody.

(Scene.-A main road leading to a market town. A miller and his son are driving an ass before them. They are going to sell it. They meet two farmers.)First Farmer.-Look, neighbour; did you ever see such stupid people? They trudge in the dust when one of them might be riding.

Second Farmer.-You are right, friend. The ass is the only one of the three that seems to have any brains.

Son.-Did you hear what they said, father?

Miller.-Yes, my boy; perhaps they are right. Here, get up on the donkey.

[The son mounts, and the father walks by his side. Soon they meet an old man and an old woman.]

Old Man.-Do you see that young rascal riding while his old father walks?

Old Woman.-Shame on him ! I don"t know what the world"s coming to. Get down, boy, and let your poor father take your place.

Son.-Shall I get down, father?

Miller . - Yes , my boy . We must try to please everybody.

[The son gets down, and the miller rides the donkey. They meet a young woman.]

Young Woman.-For shame, old man! Fancy a big, strong fellow like you taking your ease while your son walks! I"m sure the poor boy is footsore and quite tired out.

Son.-I"m all right, father.

"For shame, old man! "

Miller.-No,no; we must try to please people. W e " ll both ride the donkey.

[The son gets up be- hind the miller. They meet two schoolboys.]

First Sc h oolb oy . - Here"s a nice thing. Weought to tell the police. See the load they"ve put on the donkey. It"s cruel; that"s what I think.

Second Schoolboy.-Of course it is. They look far more able to carry the ass than the ass does to carry them.

Miller.-Well, well, well! How hard it is to please everybody! But we haven"t far to go; so we"ll carry the donkey.

[They tie the animal"s feet, thrust a pole between his legs, and hoist him on their shoulders. Then they stagger along tillthey com e to the middle of a bridge leading to the town. A newsboy see s them.]

Newsboy. - H i , there, Harry, Jim, Charlie! Hurry up and see these two people carr ying a donkey! Hurry up!

[ A c r o w d gathers, and greets

th e stra ng e sig h t The Donkey Leaps into the Water.

with jeers and laughter and clapping of hands. The donkey, frightened by the noise, struggles free, leaps into the water, and is drowned.]

Miller.-Dear, dear! What a mistake I"ve made! I tried to please everybody; but I"ve pleased nobody, and have lost my donkey as well.

Son.-That will be a lesson to me, father. When I grow up, I"ll do what I think is right and just, in spite of what anybody says.

Miller.-You"re quite right, my son. I hope that I, also, am not too old to learn.

Adapted from ?SOP

About the Author.-The unknown authors have adapted two stories, of which the second is by the old-time Greek slave ?sop.

About the Plays.-Why did Teddy hate cows? Was he really lazy? How did his father try to cure him? Why can"t one please everybody? Whom should you try to please?

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