登陆注册
15619200000219

第219章

If Mark's friends had been kind to Martin (and they had been very), they were twenty times kinder to Mark. And now it was Martin's turn to work, and sit beside the bed and watch, and listen through the long, long nights, to every sound in the gloomy wilderness; and hear poor Mr. Tapley, in his wandering fancy, playing at skittles in the Dragon, making love-remonstrances to Mrs. Lupin, getting his sea-legs on board the Screw, travelling with old Tom Pinch on English roads, and burning stumps of trees in Eden, all at once.

But whenever Martin gave him drink or medicine, or tended him in any way, or came into the house returning from some drudgery without,-the patient Mr. Tapley brightened up and cried: `I'm jolly, sir: `I'm jolly!'

Now, when Martin began to think of this, and to look at Mark as he lay there; never reproaching him by so much as an expression of regret; never murmuring; always striving to be manful and staunch; he began to think, how was it that this man who had had so few advantages, was so much better than he who had had so many? And attendance upon a sick bed, but especially the sick bed of one whom we have been accustomed to see in full activity and vigour, being a great breeder of reflection, he began to ask himself in what they differed.

He was assisted in coming to a conclusion on this head by the frequent presence of Mark's friend, their fellow-passenger across the ocean: which suggested to him that in regard to having aided her, for example, they had differed very much. Somehow he coupled Tom Pinch with this train of reflection; and thinking that Tom would be very likely to have struck up the same sort of acquaintance under similar circumstances, began to think in what respects two people so extremely different were like each other, and were unlike him. At first sight there was nothing very distressing in these meditations, but they did undoubtedly distress him for all that.

Martin's nature was a frank and generous one; but he had been bred up in his grandfather's house; and it will usually be found that the meaner domestic vices propagate themselves to be their own antagonists. Selfishness does this especially; so do suspicion, cunning, stealth, and covetous propensities.

Martin had unconsciously reasoned as a child, `My guardian takes so much thought of himself, that unless I do the like by myself, I shall be forgotten.' So he had grown selfish.

But he had never known it. If any one had taxed him with the vice, he would have indignantly repelled the accusation, and conceived himself unworthily aspersed. He never would have known it, but that being newly risen from a bed of dangerous sickness, to watch by such another couch, he felt how nearly Self had dropped into the grave, and what a poor dependent, miserable thing it was.

It was natural for him to reflect--he had months to do it in--upon his own escape, and Mark's extremity. This led him to consider which of them could be the better spared, and why? Then the curtain slowly rose a very little way; and Self, Self, Self, was shown below.

He asked himself, besides, when dreading Mark's decease (as all men do and must, at such a time), whether he had done his duty by him, and had deserved and made a good response to his fidelity and zeal. No. Short as their companionship had been, he felt in many, many instances, that there was blame against himself; and still inquiring why, the curtain slowly rose a little more, and Self, Self, Self, dilated on the scene.

It was long before he fixed the knowledge of himself so firmly in his mind that he could thoroughly discern the truth; but in the hideous solitude of that most hideous place, with Hope so far removed, Ambition quenched, and Death beside him rattling at the very door, reflection came, as in a plague-beleaguered town; and so he felt and knew the failing of his life, and saw distinctly what an ugly spot it was.

Eden was a hard school to learn so hard a lesson in; but there were teachers in the swamp and thicket, and the pestilential air, who had a searching method of their own.

He made a solemn resolution that when his strength returned he would not dispute the point or resist the conviction, but would look upon it as an established fact, that selfishness was in his breast, and must be rooted out. He was so doubtful (and with justice) of his own character, that he determined not to say one word of vain regret or good resolve to Mark, but steadily to keep his purpose before his own eyes solely: and there was not a jot of pride in this; nothing but humility and steadfastness: the best armour he could wear. So low had Eden brought him down. So high had Eden raised him up.

After a long and lingering illness (in certain forlorn stages of which, when too far gone to speak, he had feebly written `jolly!' on a slate), Mark showed some symptoms of returning health. They came and went, and flickered for a time; but he began to mend at last decidedly; and after that continued to improve from day to day.

As soon as he was well enough to talk without fatigue, Martin consulted him upon a project he had in his mind, and which a few months back he would have carried into execution without troubling anybody's head but his own.

`Ours is a desperate case,' said Martin. `Plainly. The place is deserted; its failure must have become known; and selling what we have bought to any one, for anything, is hopeless, even if it were honest. We left home on a mad enterprise, and have failed. The only hope left us: the only one end for which we have now to try, is to quit this settlement for ever, and get back to England. Anyhow! by any means! only to get back there, Mark.'

`That's all, sir,' returned Mr. Tapley, with a significant stress upon the words: `only that!'

`Now, upon this side of the water,' said Martin, `we have but one friend who can help us, and that is Mr. Bevan.'

`I thought of him when you was ill,' said Mark.

`But for the time that would be lost, I would even write to my grandfather,'

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 重生之星海传说

    重生之星海传说

    月落巫山无声泪,万载陨石碑前立:一代天骄灵不灭,百世轮回待重生。一代天骄战天,在一次仙魔大战中遭陷害陨落,经历百世轮回后投生为星海,主角经历万般磨难,立志此生战尽天下,败尽天下,杀尽天下,战天铸造了星海,星海铸造了传说。咳咳,小败类第一次写小说,有文采不到或极少错别字请多指点
  • 医毒大小姐:魔王你走开

    医毒大小姐:魔王你走开

    她,二十一世纪风靡全球黑帮boss。只因被杀魂穿赤凌大陆,附身于苏家大小姐体内。偶尔腹黑,毒舌。相当护短。他,一代魔王,冷酷无情,杀人无数。被她所救。从此爱上了她的人,缠上了她的身。“上官绝,你能不能先把我放开。”“不放,我不会把你放开。”“不就是救了你一次,有必要这么缠着我么。”“当然,救命之恩,自当以身相许。”“......”用我一生,护你一世安稳。
  • 鸿蒙之始之李玄

    鸿蒙之始之李玄

    大学生李玄意外穿越到混沌未开,鸿蒙之始,且看他如何玩转洪荒大陆……
  • 神罪传

    神罪传

    自黎明战争结束一千年来,诸神再也没有在大陆上展示过它们的神迹。许多占星学者和吟游诗人们认为这个世界已被诸神所抛弃,而原因是诸神太过呵护这个世界。千年前,十二个英雄人物缔造了一段传奇。千年后,且看黑发少年如何继续传奇。
  • 一念沉沦

    一念沉沦

    当血色布满苍穹,神土泛滥妖邪,魔地升起祥瑞,沧海变成桑田。沉沦归来!
  • 修仙者归来

    修仙者归来

    他是一个人从位面来到都市的修仙者,他是王者归来,猪脚李浩拥有一身强悍的修为。他来到了繁华的都市,又会遇上一些什么样的事情,惹上他的人又会是怎么样的下场呢?请不要错过精彩内容哦。
  • 九州凤凰录

    九州凤凰录

    她是华夏的凤凰圣女,光明的女王,隐藏于快节奏的今天,降妖除魔,惩善扬恶,遇到了各式各样的爱恨纠结,悲欢离合,本以为看透了苍生,看透了感情,没想到当有一日,自己遇到了那个终将遇到之人时,还是乱了心,动了情,可是,他与她,绝非同类。他是血族的王子,暗夜的帝王,当他们相遇相知相爱,正与邪,爱与恨,是与非,善与恶。家族与爱情,责任与温柔,她该如何选择?如何平衡?如何取舍?他唤她的名字,一个字,百转千回,温柔的像是刻在骨头里。今生今世,再难忘记。他说,我给你的爱,是一片海。我会等到你心甘情愿。外加火爆傲娇的神偷狐女,冷酷毒舌的帅哥警察,掌握预见之术的闺蜜。五人相遇,精彩连连,故事,由此开始。
  • 烈焰交易:错惹狼性总裁

    烈焰交易:错惹狼性总裁

    直到这一刻她才知道,她最好朋友的新郎竟然是他那个男人。既然你已有娇妻美眷,既然你不爱我,却为何不肯放过我?他捏住她的下巴淡然说道:我就是要让你做最让人不齿的第三者,让你每天代替你最好的朋友接受我的“恩惠”,因为我恨你!
  • 听枫诉说你的谎言

    听枫诉说你的谎言

    “你还好吗?”小男孩不悦地抬起头,对上小女孩浅蓝色的眸子,原先所有的不快随之散去,嘴角扬起一丝不属于这个年纪应有的狡黠,拉过女孩的手,却不是站起来,而是将女孩拽倒在地,看着对方与自己一样狼狈的样子,不禁哈哈大笑地起身离去,留下小女孩一人吃惊的留在原地。十年后,你用谎言掩饰一切无奈,又到了枫叶舞落的季节,是不是这次,说谎的人变成了我......
  • 绿茵天王

    绿茵天王

    球场、情场双双失意的中乙球员江枫,意外得到了一个神奇的系统,在它的帮助下,乘风破浪,最终成为一代足坛天王!