The postscript, as you have seen, was a little masterpiece. But it nevertheless exposed the writer to a danger which (as the Journal will tell you) he only appreciated at its true value when it was too late to alter his mind. Finding himself forced, for the sake of appearances, to permit Lucilla to inform her father of his arrival at Ramsgate, he was now obliged to run the risk of having that important piece of domestic news communicated--either by Mr. Finch or by his wife--to no less a person than myself. You will remember that worthy Mrs. Finch, when we parted at the rectory, had asked me to write to her while I was abroad--and you will see, after the hint I have given you, that clever Mr. Nugent is beginning already to walk upon delicate ground. I say no more: Lucilla's turn now.--P.]
_September_ 3rd.--Oscar has (I suppose) forgotten something which he ought to have included in his postscript to my letter.
More than two hours after I had sent it to the post, he asked if the letter had gone. For the moment, he looked annoyed when I said, Yes. But he soon recovered himself. It mattered nothing (he said); he could easily write again. "Talking of letters," he added, "do you expect Madame Pratolungo to write to you?" (This time it was he who referred to her!) I told him that there was not much chance, after what had passed on her side and on mine, of her writing to me--and then tried to put some of those questions about her which he had once already requested me not to press yet. For the second time, he entreated me to defer the discussion of that unpleasant subject for the present--and yet, with a curious inconsistency, he made another inquiry relating to the subject in the same breath.
"Do you think she is likely to be in correspondence with your father, or your stepmother, while she is out of England?" he asked.
"I should doubt her writing to my father," I said. "But she might correspond with Mrs. Finch."
He considered a little--and then turned the talk to the topic of our residence at Ramsgate next.
"How long do you stay here?" he inquired.
"It depends on Herr Grosse," I answered. "I will ask him when he comes next."
He turned away to the window--suddenly, as if he was a little put out.
"Are you tired of Ramsgate already?" I asked.
He came back to me, and took my hand--my cold insensible hand that won't feel his touch as it ought!
"Let me be your husband, Lucilla," he whispered; "and I will live at Ramsgate if you like--for your sake."
Although there was everything to please me in those words, there was something that startled me--I cannot describe it--in his look and manner when he said them. I made no answer at the moment. He went on.
"Why should we not be married at once?" he asked. We are both of age. We have only ourselves to think of."
[Note.--Alter his words as follows: "Why should we not be married before Madame Pratolungo can hear of my arrival at Ramsgate?"--and you will rightly interpret his motives. The situation is now fast reaching its climax of peril. Nugent's one chance is to persuade Lucilla to marry him before any discoveries can reach my ears, and before Grosse considers her sufficiently recovered to leave Ramsgate.--P.]
"You forget," I answered, more surprised than ever; "we have my father to think of. It was always arranged that he was to marry us at Dimchurch."
Oscar smiled--not at all the charming smile I used to imagine, when I was blind!
"We shall wait a long time, I am afraid," he said, "if we wait until your father marries us."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"When we enter on the painful subject of Madame Pratolungo," he replied, "I will tell you. In the meantime, do you think Mr. Finch will answer your letter?"
"I hope so."
"Do you think he will answer my postscript?"
"I am sure he will!"
The same unpleasant smile showed itself again in his face. He abruptly dropped the conversation, and went to play _piquet_ with my aunt.
All this happened yesterday evening. I went to bed, sadly dissatisfied with somebody. Was it with Oscar? or with myself? or with both? I fancy with both.
To-day, we went out together for a walk on the cliffs. What a delight it was to move through the fresh briny air, and see the lovely sights on every side of me! Oscar enjoyed it too. All through the first part of our walk, he was charming, and I was more in love with him than ever. On our return, a little incident occurred which altered him for the worse, and which made my spirits sink again.
It happened in this manner.
I proposed returning by the sands. Ramsgate is still crowded with visitors; and the animated scene on the beach in the later part of the day has attractions for me, after my blind life, which it does not (I dare say) possess for people who have always enjoyed the use of their eyes. Oscar, who has a nervous horror of crowds, and who shrinks from contact with people not so refined as himself, was surprised at my wishing to mix with what he called "the mob on the sands." However, he said he would go, if I particularly wished it. I did particularly wish it. So we went.
There were chairs on the beach. We hired two, and sat down to look about us.