When, with a resounding slam, the door to the upper deck of the House-boat was shut in the faces of queens Elizabeth and Cleopatra by the unmannerly Kidd, these ladies turned and gazed at those who thronged the stairs behind them in blank amazement, and the heart of Xanthippe, had one chosen to gaze through that diaphanous person's ribs, could have been seen to beat angrily.
Queen Elizabeth was so excited at this wholly novel attitude towards her regal self that, having turned, she sat down plump upon the floor in the most unroyal fashion.
"Well!" she ejaculated."If this does not surpass everything! The idea of it! Oh for one hour of my olden power, one hour of the axe, one hour of the block!""Get up," retorted Cleopatra, "and let us all return to the billiard-room and discuss this matter calmly.It is quite evident that something has happened of which we wotted little when we came aboard this craft.""That is a good idea," said Calpurnia, retreating below."I can see through the window that we are in motion.The vessel has left her moorings, and is making considerable headway down the stream, and the distinctly masculine voices we have heard are indications to my mind that the ship is manned, and that this is the result of design rather than of accident.Let us below."Elizabeth rose up and readjusted her ruff, which in the excitement of the moment had been forced to assume a position about her forehead which gave one the impression that its royal wearer had suddenly donned a sombrero.
"Very well," she said."Let us below; but oh, for the axe!""Bring the lady an axe," cried Xanthippe, sarcastically."She wants to cut somebody."The sally was not greeted with applause.The situation was regarded as being too serious to admit of humor, and in silence they filed back into the billiard-room, and, arranging themselves in groups, stood about anxiously discussing the situation.
"It's getting rougher every minute," sobbed Ophelia."Look at those pool-balls!" These were in very truth chasing each other about the table in an extraordinary fashion."And I wish I'd never followed you horrid new creatures on board!" the poor girl added, in an agony of despair.
"I believe we've crossed the bar already!" said Cleopatra, gazing out of the window at a nasty choppy sea that was adding somewhat to the disquietude of the fair gathering."If this is merely a joke on the part of the Associated Shades, it is a mighty poor one, and I think it is time it should cease.""Oh, for an axe!" moaned Elizabeth, again.
"Excuse me, your Majesty," put in Xanthippe."You said that before, and I must say it is getting tiresome.You couldn't do anything with an axe.Suppose you had one.What earthly good would it do you, who were accustomed to doing all your killing by proxy? I don't believe, if you had the unmannerly person who slammed the door in your face lying prostrate upon the billiard-table here, you could hit him a square blow in the neck if you had a hundred axes.Delilah might as well cry for her scissors, for all the good it would do us in our predicament.If Cleopatra had her asp with her it might be more to the purpose.One deadly little snake like that let loose on the upper deck would doubtless drive these boors into the sea, and even then our condition would not be bettered, for there isn't any of us that can sail a boat.There isn't an old salt among us.""Too bad Mrs.Lot isn't along," giggled Marguerite de Valois, whose Gallic spirits were by no means overshadowed by the unhappy predicament in which she found herself.
"I'm here," piped up Mrs.Lot."But I'm not that kind of a salt.""I am present," said Mrs.Noah."Though why I ever came I don't know, for I vowed the minute I set my foot on Ararat that dry land was good enough for me, and that I'd never step aboard another boat as long as I lived.If, however, now that I am here, I can give you the benefit of my nautical experience, you are all perfectly welcome to it.""I'm sure we're very much obliged for the offer," said Portia, "but in the emergency which has arisen we cannot say how much obliged we are until we know what your experience amounted to.Before relying upon you we ought to know how far that reliance can go--not that Ilack confidence in you, my dear madam, but that in an hour of peril one must take care, to rely upon the oak, not upon the reed.""The point is properly taken," said Elizabeth, "and I wish to say here that I am easier in my mind when I realize that we have with us so level-headed a person as the lady who has just spoken.She has spoken truly and to the point.If I were to become queen again, Ishould make her my attorney-general.We must not go ahead impulsively, but look at all things in a calm, judicial manner.""Which is pretty hard work with a sea like this on," remarked Ophelia, faintly, for she was getting a trifle sallow, as indeed she might, for the House-boat was beginning to roll tremendously with no alleviation save an occasional pitch, which was an alleviation only in the sense that it gave variety to their discomfort."I don't believe a chief-justice could look at things calmly and in a judicial manner if he felt as I do.""Poor dear!" said the matronly Mrs.Noah, sympathetically."I know exactly how you feel.I have been there myself.The fourth day out I and my whole family were in the same condition, except that Noah, my husband, was so very far gone that I could not afford to yield.Inursed him for six days before he got his sea-legs on, and then succumbed myself.""But," gasped Ophelia, "that doesn't help me -"It did my husband," said Mrs.Noah.
