Do you know he was at the play last night, and the stupid creature don't know where he has been.He would not go to a play for the world; he thinks it was a show, as he calls it.
JESSAMY
As ignorant and unpolished as he is, do you know, Miss Jenny, that I propose to introduce him to the honour of your acquaintance?
JENNY
Introduce him to me! for what?
JESSAMY
Why, my lovely girl, that you may take him under your protection, as Madame Ramboulliet did young Stanhope; that you may, by your plastic hand, mould this uncouth cub into a gentleman.He is to make love to you.
JENNY
Make love to me!--
JESSAMY
Yes, Mistress Jenny, make love to you; and, I doubt not, when he shall become domesticated in your kitchen, that this boor, under your auspices, will soon become un amiable petit Jonathan.
JENNY
I must say, Mr.Jessamy, if he copies after me, he will be vastly, monstrously polite.
JESSAMY
Stay here one moment, and I will call him.--Jona-than!--Mr.Jonathan!--[Calls.]
JONATHAN [within]
Holla! there.--[Enters.] You promise to stand by me--six bows you say.[Bows.]
JESSAMY
Mrs.Jenny, I have the honour of presenting Mr.
Jonathan, Colonel Manly's waiter, to you.I am ex-tremely happy that I have it in my power to make two worthy people acquainted with each other's merits.
JENNY
So, Mr.Jonathan, I hear you were at the play last night.
JONATHAN
At the play! why, did you think I went to the devil's drawing-room?
JENNY
The devil's drawing-room!
JONATHAN
Yes; why an't cards and dice the devil's device, and the play-house the shop where the devil hangs out the vanities of the world upon the tenter-hooks of temptation? I believe you have not heard how they were acting the old boy one night, and the wicked one came among them sure enough, and went right off in a storm, and carried one quarter of the play-house with him.Oh! no, no, no! you won't catch me at a play-house, I warrant you.
JENNY
Well, Mr.Jonathan, though I don't scruple your veracity, I have some reasons for believing you were there: pray, where were you about six o'clock?
JONATHAN
Why, I went to see one Mr.Morrison, the hocus pocus man; they said as how he could eat a case knife.
JENNY
Well, and how did you find the place?
JONATHAN
As I was going about here and there, to and again, to find it, I saw a great crowd of folks going into a long entry that had lantherns over the door; so Iasked a man whether that was not the place where they played hocus pocus? He was a very civil, kind man, though he did speak like the Hessians; he lifted up his eyes and said, "They play hocus pocus tricks enough there, Got knows, mine friend."JENNY
Well--
JONATHAN
So I went right in, and they shewed me away, clean up to the garret, just like meeting-house gallery.
And so I saw a bower of topping folks, all sitting round in little cabbins, "just like father's corn-cribs";and then there was such a squeaking with the fiddles, and such a tarnal blaze with the lights, my head was near turned.At last the people that sat near me set up such a hissing--hiss--like so many mad cats;and then they went thump, thump, thump, just like our Peleg threshing wheat, and stampt away, just like the nation; and called out for one Mr.Langolee,--Isuppose he helps act the tricks.
JENNY
Well, and what did you do all this time?
JONATHAN
Gor, I--I liked the fun, and so I thumpt away, and hiss'd as lustily as the best of 'em.One sailor-looking man that sat by me, seeing me stamp, and knowing I was a cute fellow, because I could make a roaring noise, clapt me on the shoulder and said, "You are a d---d hearty cock, smite my timbers!" I told him so I was, but I thought he need not swear so, and make use of such naughty words.
JESSAMY
The savage!--Well, and did you see the man with his tricks?
JONATHAN
Why, I vow, as I was looking out for him, they lifted up a great green cloth and let us look right into the next neighbor's house.Have you a good many houses in New-York made so in that 'ere way?
JENNY
Not many; but did you see the family?
JONATHAN
Yes, swamp it; I see'd the family.
JENNY
Well, and how did you like them?
JONATHAN
Why, I vow they were pretty much like other families;--there was a poor, good-natured, curse of a husband, and a sad rantipole of a wife.
JENNY
But did you see no other folks?
JONATHAN
Yes.There was one youngster; they called him Mr.Joseph; he talked as sober and as pious as a minister; but, like some ministers that I know, he was a sly tike in his heart for all that.He was going to ask a young woman to spark it with him, and--the Lord have mercy on my soul!--she was another man's wife.
JESSAMY
The Wabash!
JENNY
And did you see any more folks?
JONATHAN
Why, they came on as thick as mustard.For my part, I thought the house was haunted.There was a soldier fellow, who talked about his row de dow, dow, and courted a young woman; but, of all the cute folk I saw, I liked one little fellow--JENNY
Aye! who was he?
JONATHAN
Why, he had red hair, and a little round plump face like mine, only not altogether so handsome.His name was--Darby;--that was his baptizing name;his other name I forgot.Oh! it was Wig--Wag--Wag-all, Darby Wag-all,--pray, do you know him?--I should like to take a sling with him, or a drap of cyder with a pepper-pod in it, to make it warm and comfortable.
JENNY
I can't say I have that pleasure.
JONATHAN
I wish you did; he is a cute fellow.But there was one thing I didn't like in that Mr.Darby; and that was, he was afraid of some of them 'ere shooting irons, such as your troopers wear on training days.
Now, I'm a true born Yankee American son of liberty, and I never was afraid of a gun yet in all my life.
JENNY
Well, Mr.Jonathan, you were certainly at the play-house.
JONATHAN
I at the play-house!--Why didn't I see the play then?
JENNY
Why, the people you saw were players.
JONATHAN
Mercy on my soul! did I see the wicked players?--Mayhap that 'ere Darby that I liked so was the old serpent himself, and had his cloven foot in his pocket.
Why, I vow, now I come to think on't, the candles seemed to burn blue, and I am sure where I sat it smelt tarnally of brimstone.
JESSAMY
