登陆注册
15387100000070

第70章

By which I don't wish to be understood as intimatin' that the scalpin' wretches who are in the injin bisness at the present day are of any account, or calculated to make home happy, specially the Sioxes of Minnesoty, who desarve to be murdered in the first degree, and if POPE will only stay in St.Paul and not go near 'em HIMSELF, I reckon they will be.

2.12.ARTEMUS WARD IN RICHMOND.

Richmond, Va.--May, 18 & 65.

OLONZO WARD.

Afore I comments this letter from the late rebil capitol Idesire to cimply say that I hav seen a low and skurrilus noat in the paper from a certin purson who singes hisself Olonzo Ward, & sez he is my berruther.I did ONCE hav a berruther of that name, but I do not recugnize him now.To me he is wuss than ded! I took him from collige sum 16 years ago and gave him a good situation as the Bearded Woman in my Show.How did he repay me for this kindness? He basely undertook (one day while in a Backynalian mood on rum & right in sight of the aujience in the tent) to stand upon his hed, whareby he betray'd his sex on account of his boots & his Beard fallin'

off his face, thus rooinin' my prospecks in that town, &likewise incurrin' the seris displeasure of the Press, which sed boldly I was triflin with the feelin's of a intelligent public.I know no such man as Olonzo Ward.I do not even wish his name breathed in my presents.I do not recognize him.I perfectly disgust him.

RICHMOND.

The old man finds hisself once more in a Sunny climb.I cum here a few days arter the city catterpillertulated.

My naburs seemed surprised & astonisht at this darin' bravery onto the part of a man at my time of life, but our family was never know'd to quale in danger's stormy hour.

My father was a sutler in the Revolootion War.My father once had a intervoo with Gin'ral La Fayette.

He asked La Fayette to lend him five dollars, promisin' to pay him in the Fall; but Lafy said "he couldn't see it in those lamps." Lafy was French, and his knowledge of our langwidge was a little shaky.

Immejutly on my 'rival here I perceeded to the Spotswood House, and callin' to my assistans a young man from our town who writes a good runnin' hand, I put my ortograph on the Register, and handin' my umbrella to a baldheded man behind the counter, who I s'posed was Mr.Spotswood, I said, "Spotsy, how does she run?"He called a cullud purson, and said, "Show the gen'lman to the cowyard, and giv' him cart number 1.""Isn't Grant here?" I said."Perhaps Ulyssis wouldn't mind my turnin' in with him.""Do you know the Gin'ral?" inquired Mr.Spotswood.

"Wall, no, not 'zacky; but he'll remember me.His brother-in-law's Aunt bought her rye meal of my uncle Levi all one winter.My uncle Levi's rye meal was--""Pooh! pooh!" said Spotsy, "don't bother me," and he shuv'd my umbrella onto the floor.Obsravin' to him not to be so keerless with that wepin, I accompanid the African to my lodgins.

"My brother," I sed, "air you aware that you've bin mancipated? Do you realize how glorus it is to be free? Tell me, my dear brother, does it not seem like some dreams, or do you realize the great fact in all its livin' and holy magnitood?"He sed he would take some gin.

I was show'd to the cowyard and laid down under a one-mule cart.The hotel was orful crowded, and I was sorry I hadn't gone to the Libby Prison.Tho' I should hav' slept comf'ble enuff if the bed-clothes hadn't bin pulled off me durin' the night, by a scoundrul who cum and hitched a mule to the cart and druv it off.I thus lost my cuverin', and my throat feels a little husky this mornin'.

Gin'ral Hulleck offers me the hospitality of the city, givin me my choice of hospitals.

He has also very kindly placed at my disposal a smallpox amboolance.

UNION SENTIMENT.

There is raly a great deal of Union sentiment in this city.Isee it on ev'ry hand.

I met a man to-day--I am not at liberty to tell his name, but he is a old and inflooentooial citizen of Richmond, and sez he, "Why! We've bin fightin' agin the Old Flag! Lor' bless me, how sing'lar!" He then borrer'd five dollars of me and bust into a flood of teers.

Sed another (a man of standin' and formerly a bitter rebuel), "Let us at once stop this effooshun of Blud! The Old Flag is good enuff for me.Sir," he added, "you air from the North!

Have you a doughnut or a piece of custard pie about you?"I told him no, but I knew a man from Vermont who had just organized a sort of restaurant, where he could go and make a very comfortable breakfast on New England rum and cheese.He borrowed fifty cents of me, and askin' me to send him Wm.

Lloyd Garrison's ambrotype as soon as I got home, he walked off.

Said another, "There's bin a tremendous Union feelin here from the fust.But we was kept down by a rain of terror.Have you a dagerretype of Wendell Phillips about your person? and will you lend me four dollars for a few days till we air once more a happy and united people."JEFF.DAVIS.

Jeff.Davis is not pop'lar here.She is regarded as a Southern sympathizer.& yit I'm told he was kind to his Parents.She ran away from 'em many years ago, and has never bin back.This was showin' 'em a good deal of consideration when we refleck what his conduck has been.Her captur in female apparel confooses me in regard to his sex, & you see Ispeak of him as a her as frekent as otherwise, & I guess he feels so hisself.

R.LEE.

Robert Lee is regarded as a noble feller.

He was opposed to the war at the fust, and draw'd his sword very reluctant.In fact, he wouldn't hav' drawd his sword at all, only he had a large stock of military clothes on hand, which he didn't want to waste.He sez the colored man is right, and he will at once go to New York and open a Sabbath School for negro minstrels.

THE CONFEDERATE ARMY.

The surrender of R.Lee, J.Johnston and others leaves the Confedrit Army in a ruther shattered state.That army now consists of Kirby Smith, four mules and a Bass drum, and is movin' rapidly to'rds Texis.

A PROUD AND HAWTY SUTHENER.

同类推荐
  • 春梦录

    春梦录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 默庵诗集

    默庵诗集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 古今医彻

    古今医彻

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 杨太真外传

    杨太真外传

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 韩擒虎话本

    韩擒虎话本

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 不败战徒

    不败战徒

    在一个所有人都用武魂来战斗的世界,一个永远都不可能觉醒武魂的少年,一夜之间,觉醒了八个武魂。从此,一向被称之为废材的叶翔,开始了他的逆袭之路。一步一步,踩着那些天才的头颅,登上巅峰。天才?老子专杀天才!
  • 福妻驾到

    福妻驾到

    现代饭店彪悍老板娘魂穿古代。不分是非的极品婆婆?三年未归生死不明的丈夫?心狠手辣的阴毒亲戚?贪婪而好色的地主老财?吃上顿没下顿的贫困宭境?不怕不怕,神仙相助,一技在手,天下我有!且看现代张悦娘,如何身带福气玩转古代,开面馆、收小弟、左纳财富,右傍美男,共绘幸福生活大好蓝图!!!!快本新书《天媒地聘》已经上架开始销售,只要3.99元即可将整本书抱回家,你还等什么哪,赶紧点击下面的直通车,享受乐乐精心为您准备的美食盛宴吧!)
  • 十里红殇泪之青花玉

    十里红殇泪之青花玉

    在这世上我已活了千年,为了羽化登仙,我入红尘历情劫。十滴情伤泪,十段红殇劫。红殇泪一共十颗,集齐之时将其串连就会成为十里红殇泪。有了它我就可以飞身直上那九重天,成为地位尊贵的九天仙尊之一——玉清仙尊。我将要羽化登仙,不想这最后的红殇泪竟是我的,而你就是我的劫。我要如何取这红殇泪。
  • 棋诀

    棋诀

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 仙界星势力

    仙界星势力

    最当红的明星!最时尚的音乐!最轻松的互动!最劲爆的话题!尽在仙界星势力!本节目由创世中文网独家冠名播出。
  • 冥婚惊情:鬼王独宠冷情妻

    冥婚惊情:鬼王独宠冷情妻

    千年前,他和她是一对恋人,在最好的年华里,他们是彼此的唯一,她们发誓要永远和对方在一起,要将爱情进行到底。可是,如同最好的一场演出,由于中途出意外,他为了她灰飞烟灭。千年后,他成为了鬼王,却为了找她耗费千年时间,只为了找到她,保护她生生世世……而她成为了豪门千金,一出生因为是阴年阴月阴日出生的,便在满月第二天送去乡下爷爷那里照顾。只是,该来的还是会来的。在18岁生日前一天阴阳眼被开起,18岁生日嫁给一只鬼并与他订约定事……她却没有想到一段跨越千年永世纠缠不完的孽缘开启。而那只鬼夫俊美无双,呵护宠溺她,却也霸道无耻,常常弄得她腰酸背痛。只不过一件又一件诡异的事情接踵而来,阴谋也随着而来……
  • 禅师读红尘:写给都市人的枕边幸福禅

    禅师读红尘:写给都市人的枕边幸福禅

    《禅师读红尘:写给都市人的枕边幸福禅》最大的亮点在于它是用佛陀的话解读或者解答的一些现代都市里最棘手、最热门、最时尚、最前卫、最隐私、最尖锐等的话题。比如禅师对贪污、疯狂玩微博现象、婚外恋、奢华假日游、富二代、拜金女、明星绯闻等等问题的看法。它是用传统的观点阐释和解答新颖的问题。相对于较多的传统佛学类出版物来说,它的话题新颖,与时效结合紧密。市场上很多星云、弘一、证严等法师本人的著作《舍得》、《宽心》等以及写他们的著作《禅的行囊》、《禅心莲韵》等销量都很可观,相信将传统的畅销作品融入新的话题会更加有卖点。
  • 孽缘

    孽缘

    她是年轻的已婚妈妈,他是人近中年的业界红人,一场偶然的相遇开启了危险的情感游戏?真爱还是其他,这是一次都市情感的历险,这是当下都市人的爱情困惑,再现已婚人走进婚姻围城、走出婚姻围城的无奈!
  • 伐仙

    伐仙

    如风一样的自由,谁也不能束缚,我的命运,只有我自己主宰,谁也无法阻拦我脚下的路,冷月刀法,七位兄弟,打造我独一无二的强者之路,所向披靡,勇不可挡!
  • 福妻驾到

    福妻驾到

    现代饭店彪悍老板娘魂穿古代。不分是非的极品婆婆?三年未归生死不明的丈夫?心狠手辣的阴毒亲戚?贪婪而好色的地主老财?吃上顿没下顿的贫困宭境?不怕不怕,神仙相助,一技在手,天下我有!且看现代张悦娘,如何身带福气玩转古代,开面馆、收小弟、左纳财富,右傍美男,共绘幸福生活大好蓝图!!!!快本新书《天媒地聘》已经上架开始销售,只要3.99元即可将整本书抱回家,你还等什么哪,赶紧点击下面的直通车,享受乐乐精心为您准备的美食盛宴吧!)