It was in a surtin town in Virginny, the Muther of Presidents &things, that I was shaimfully aboozed by a editor in human form.He set my Show up steep & kalled me the urbane &gentlemunly manajer, but when I, fur the purpuss of showin fair play all around, went to anuther offiss to git my hanbills printed, what duz this pussillanermus editer do but change his toon & abooze me like a Injun.He sed my wax wurks was a humbug & called me a horey-heded itinerent vagabone.I thort at fust Ide pollish him orf ar-lar the Beneshy Boy, but on reflectin that he cood pollish me much wuss in his paper, I giv it up.& I wood here take occashun to advise peple when thay run agin, as thay sumtimes will, these miserable papers, to not pay no attenshun to um.Abuv all, don't assault a editer of this kind.It only gives him a notorosity, which is jest what he wants, & don't do you no more good than it wood to jump into enny other mud puddle.Editers are generally fine men, but there must be black sheep in every flock.
1.20.EDWIN FOREST AS OTHELLO.
Durin a recent visit to New York the undersined went to see Edwin Forrest.As I'm into the moral show bizness myself, Iginrally go to Barnum's moral Museum, where only moral peple air admitted, pertickly on Wednesday arternoons.But this time I thot I'd go & see Ed.Ed has bin actin out on the stage for many years.There is varis 'pinions about his actin, Englishmen ginrally bleevin that he is far superior to Mister Macready; but on one pint all agree, & that is that Ed draws like a six ox team.Ed was actin at Niblo's Garding, which looks considerable more like a parster, than a garding, but let that pars.I sot down in the pit, took out my spectacles &commenced peroosin the evenin's bill.The awjince was all-fired large & the boxes was full of the elitty of New York.Several opery glasses was leveld at me by Gothum's farest darters, but I didn't let on as tho I noticed it, tho mebby I did take out my sixteen-dollar silver watch & brandish it round more than was necessary.But the best of us has our weaknesses & if a man has gewelry let him show it.As I was peroosin the bill a grave young man who sot near me axed me if I'd ever seen Forrest dance the Essence of Old Virginny? "He's immense in that," sed the young man."He also does a fair champion jig," the young man continnerd, "but his Big Thing is the Essence of Old Virginny."Sez I, "Fair youth, do you know what I'd do with you if you was my sun?""No," sez he.
"Wall," sez I, "I'd appint your funeral tomorrow arternoon, &the KORPS SHOULD BE READY! You're too smart to live on this yearth." He didn't try any more of his capers on me.But another pussylanermus individooul, in a red vest & patent lether boots, told me his name was Bill Astor & axed me to lend him 50 cents till early in the mornin.I told him I'd probly send it round to him before he retired to his virtoous couch, but if I didn't he might look for it next fall, as soon as Icut my corn.The Orchestry was now fiddling with all their might, & as the peple didn't understan anything about it they applaudid versifrussly.Presently, Old Ed cum out.The play was Otheller or More of Veniss.Otheller was writ by Wm.
Shakspeer.The scene is laid in Veniss.Otheller was a likely man & was a ginral in the Veniss army.He eloped with Desdemony, a darter of the Hon.Mister Brabantio, who represented one of the back districks in the Veneshun legislater.Old Brabantio was as mad as thunder at this & tore round considerable, but finally cooled down, tellin Otheller, howsever, that Desdemony had come it over her Par, & that he had better look out or she'd come it over him likewise.Mr.& Mrs.Otheller git along very comfortable like for a spell.She is sweet-tempered and luvin--a nice, sensible female, never goin in for he-female conventions, green cotton umbrellers, and pickled beats.
