'Why,Sir,a man who talks nonsense so well,must know that he is talking nonsense.But I am AFRAID,(chuckling and laughing,)Monboddo does NOT know that he is talking nonsense.'BOSWELL.'Is it wrong then,Sir,to affect singularity,in order to make people stare?'JOHNSON.'Yes,if you do it by propagating errour:and,indeed,it is wrong in any way.There is in human nature a general inclination to make people stare;and every wise man has himself to cure of it,and does cure himself.If you wish to make people stare by doing better than others,why,make them stare till they stare their eyes out.But consider how easy it is to make people stare by being absurd.I may do it by going into a drawing-room without my shoes.You remember the gentleman in The Spectator,who had a commission of lunacy taken out against him for his extreme singularity,such as never wearing a wig,but a night-cap.Now,Sir,abstractedly,the night-cap was best;but,relatively,the advantage was overbalanced by his making the boys run after him.'
Talking of a London life,he said,'The happiness of London is not to be conceived but by those who have been in it.I will venture to say,there is more learning and science within the circumference of ten miles from where we now sit,than in all the rest of the kingdom.'BOSWELL.'The only disadvantage is the great distance at which people live from one another.'JOHNSON.'Yes,Sir;but that is occasioned by the largeness of it,which is the cause of all the other advantages.'BOSWELL.'Sometimes I have been in the humour of wishing to retire to a desart.'JOHNSON.'Sir,you have desart enough in Scotland.'
Although I had promised myself a great deal of instructive conversation with him on the conduct of the married state,of which I had then a near prospect,he did not say much upon that topick.
Mr.Seward heard him once say,that 'a man has a very bad chance for happiness in that state,unless he marries a woman of very strong and fixed principles of religion.'He maintained to me,contrary to the common notion,that a woman would not be the worse wife for being learned;in which,from all that I have observed of Artemisias,I humbly differed from him.
When I censured a gentleman of my acquaintance for marrying a second time,as it shewed a disregard of his first wife,he said,'Not at all,Sir.On the contrary,were he not to marry again,it might be concluded that his first wife had given him a disgust to marriage;but by taking a second wife he pays the highest compliment to the first,by shewing that she made him so happy as a married man,that he wishes to be so a second time.'So ingenious a turn did he give to this delicate question.And yet,on another occasion,he owned that he once had almost asked a promise of Mrs.
Johnson that she would not marry again,but had checked himself.
Indeed,I cannot help thinking,that in his case the request would have been unreasonable;for if Mrs.Johnson forgot,or thought it no injury to the memory of her first love,--the husband of her youth and the father of her children,--to make a second marriage,why should she be precluded from a third,should she be so inclined?In Johnson's persevering fond appropriation of his Tetty,even after her decease,he seems totally to have overlooked the prior claim of the honest Birmingham trader.I presume that her having been married before had,at times,given him some uneasiness;for I remember his observing upon the marriage of one of our common friends,'He has done a very foolish thing,Sir;he has married a widow,when he might have had a maid.'
We drank tea with Mrs.Williams.I had last year the pleasure of seeing Mrs.Thrale at Dr.Johnson's one morning,and had conversation enough with her to admire her talents,and to shew her that I was as Johnsonian as herself.Dr.Johnson had probably been kind enough to speak well of me,for this evening he delivered me a very polite card from Mr.Thrale and her,inviting me to Streatham.
On the 6th of October I complied with this obliging invitation,and found,at an elegant villa,six miles from town,every circumstance that can make society pleasing.Johnson,though quite at home,was yet looked up to with an awe,tempered by affection,and seemed to be equally the care of his host and hostess.I rejoiced at seeing him so happy.
He played off his wit against Scotland with a good humoured pleasantry,which gave me,though no bigot to national prejudices,an opportunity for a little contest with him.I having said that England was obliged to us for gardeners,almost all their good gardeners being Scotchmen.JOHNSON.'Why,Sir,that is because gardening is much more necessary amongst you than with us,which makes so many of your people learn it.It is ALL gardening with you.Things which grow wild here,must be cultivated with great care in Scotland.Pray now (throwing himself back in his chair,and laughing,)are you ever able to bring the SLOE to perfection?'
I boasted that we had the honour of being the first to abolish the unhospitable,troublesome,and ungracious custom of giving vails to servants.JOHNSON.'Sir,you abolished vails,because you were too poor to be able to give them.'
Mrs.Thrale disputed with him on the merit of Prior.He attacked him powerfully;said he wrote of love like a man who had never felt it:his love verses were college verses;and he repeated the song 'Alexis shunn'd his fellow swains,'&c.,in so ludicrous a manner,as to make us all wonder how any one could have been pleased with such fantastical stuff.Mrs.Thrale stood to her gun with great courage,in defence of amorous ditties,which Johnson despised,till he at last silenced her by saying,'My dear Lady,talk no more of this.Nonsense can be defended but by nonsense.'
Mrs.Thrale then praised Garrick's talent for light gay poetry;and,as a specimen,repeated his song in Florizel and Perdita,and dwelt with peculiar pleasure on this line:
'I'd smile with the simple,and feed with the poor.'
