登陆注册
15302600000025

第25章

FALSTAFF.No, I'll come no more i' th' basket.May I not go out ere he come? MRS.PAGE.Alas, three of Master Ford's brothers watch the door with pistols, that none shall issue out; otherwise you might slip away ere he came.But what make you here? FALSTAFF.What shall I do? I'll creep up into the chimney.MRS.FORD.There they always use to discharge their birding-pieces.MRS.PAGE.Creep into the kiln-hole.FALSTAFF.Where is it? MRS.FORD.He will seek there, on my word.Neither press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an abstract for the remembrance of such places, and goes to them by his note.There is no hiding you in the house.FALSTAFF.I'll go out then.MRS.PAGE.If you go out in your own semblance, you die, Sir John.Unless you go out disguis'd.MRS.FORD.How might we disguise him? MRS.PAGE.Alas the day, I know not! There is no woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise he might put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchief, and so escape.FALSTAFF.Good hearts, devise something; any extremity rather than a mischief.MRS.FORD.My Maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brainford, has a gown above.MRS.PAGE.On my word, it will serve him; she's as big as he is; and there's her thrumm'd hat, and her muffler too.Run up, Sir John.MRS.FORD.Go, go, sweet Sir John.Mistress Page and I will look some linen for your head.MRS.PAGE.Quick, quick; we'll come dress you straight.Put on the gown the while.Exit FALSTAFF MRS.FORD.I would my husband would meet him in this shape; he cannot abide the old woman of Brainford; he swears she's a witch, forbade her my house, and hath threat'ned to beat her.MRS.PAGE.Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel; and the devil guide his cudgel afterwards! MRS.FORD.But is my husband coming? MRS.PAGE.Ay, in good sadness is he; and talks of the basket too, howsoever he hath had intelligence.MRS.FORD.We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the basket again, to meet him at the door with it as they did last time.MRS.PAGE.Nay, but he'll be here presently; let's go dress him like the witch of Brainford.MRS.FORD.I'll first direct my men what they shall do with the basket.Go up; I'll bring linen for him straight.Exit MRS.PAGE.Hang him, dishonest varlet! we cannot misuse him enough.We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do, Wives may be merry and yet honest too.We do not act that often jest andlaugh; 'Tis old but true: Still swine eats all the draff.Exit Re-enter MISTRESS FORD, with two SERVANTSMRS.FORD.Go, sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders; your master is hard at door; if he bid you set it down, obey him; quickly, dispatch.Exit FIRST SERVANT.Come, come, take it up.SECOND SERVANT.Pray heaven it be not full of knight again.FIRST SERVANT.I hope not; I had lief as bear so much lead.

Enter FORD, PAGE, SHALLOW, CAIUS, and SIR HUGH EVANSFORD.Ay, but if it prove true, Master Page, have you any way then to unfool me again? Set down the basket, villain! Somebody call my wife.Youth in a basket! O you panderly rascals, there's a knot, a ging, a pack, a conspiracy against me.Now shall the devil be sham'd.What, wife, I say! Come, come forth; behold what honest clothes you send forth to bleaching.PAGE.Why, this passes, Master Ford; you are not to go loose any longer; you must be pinion'd.EVANS.Why, this is lunatics.This is mad as a mad dog.SHALLOW.Indeed, Master Ford, this is not well, indeed.FORD.So say I too, sir.

Re-enter MISTRESS FORD

Come hither, Mistress Ford; Mistress Ford, the honest woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that hath the jealous fool to her husband! I suspect without cause, Mistress, do I? MRS.FORD.Heaven be my witness, you do, if you suspect me in any dishonesty.FORD.Well said, brazen-face; hold it out.Come forth, sirrah.[Pulling clothes out of the basket] PAGE.This passes! MRS.FORD.Are you not asham'd? Let the clothes alone.FORD.I shall find you anon.EVANS.'Tis unreasonable.Will you take up your wife's clothes? Come away.FORD.Empty the basket, I say.MRS.FORD.Why, man, why? FORD.Master Page, as I am a man, there was one convey'd out of my house yesterday in this basket.Why may not he be there again? In my house I am sure he is; my intelligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable.Pluck me out all the linen.MRS.FORD.If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's death.PAGE.Here's no man.SHALLOW.By my fidelity, this is not well, Master Ford; this wrongs you.EVANS.Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the imaginations of your own heart; this is jealousies.FORD.Well, he's nothere I seek for.PAGE.No, nor nowhere else but in your brain.FORD.Help to search my house this one time.If I find not what I seek, show no colour for my extremity; let me for ever be your table sport; let them say of me 'As jealous as Ford, that search'd a hollow walnut for his wife's leman.' Satisfy me once more; once more search with me.MRS.FORD.What, hoa, Mistress Page! Come you and the old woman down; my husband will come into the chamber.FORD.Old woman? what old woman's that? MRS.FORD.Why, it is my maid's aunt of Brainford.FORD.A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does she? We are simple men; we do not know what's brought to pass under the profession of fortune-telling.She works by charms, by spells, by th' figure, and such daub'ry as this is, beyond our element.We know nothing.Come down, you witch, you hag you; come down, I say.MRS.FORD.Nay, good sweet husband! Good gentlemen, let him not strike the old woman.

Re-enter FALSTAFF in woman's clothes, and MISTRESS PAGE MRS.PAGE.Come, Mother Prat; come.give me your hand.FORD.I'll prat her.[Beating him] Out of my door, you witch, you hag, you.baggage, you polecat, you ronyon! Out, out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tell you.Exit FALSTAFF MRS.PAGE.Are you not asham'd? I think you have kill'd the poor woman.MRS.FORD.Nay, he will do it.'Tis a goodly credit for you.FORD.Hang her, witch! EVANS.By yea and no, I think the oman is a witch indeed; I like not when a oman has a great peard; I spy a great peard under his muffler.FORD.Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you follow; see but the issue of my jealousy; if I cry out thus upon no trail, never trust me when I open again.PAGE.Let's obey his humour a little further.Come, gentlemen.Exeunt all but MRS.FORD and MRS.PAGE MRS.PAGE.Trust me, he beat him most pitifully.MRS.FORD.Nay, by th' mass, that he did not; he beat him most unpitifully methought.MRS.PAGE.I'll have the cudgel hallow'd and hung o'er the altar; it hath done meritorious service.MRS.FORD.What think you? May we, with the warrant of womanhood and the witness of a good conscience, pursue him with any further revenge? MRS.PAGE.The spirit of wantonness is sure scar'd out of him; if the devil have him not in fee-simple, with fineand recovery, he will never, I think, in the way of waste, attempt us again.MRS.FORD.Shall we tell our husbands how we have serv'd him? MRS.PAGE.Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the figures out of your husband's brains.If they can find in their hearts the poor unvirtuous fat knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will still be the ministers.MRS.FORD.I'll warrant they'll have him publicly sham'd; and methinks there would be no period to the jest, should he not be publicly sham'd.MRS.PAGE.Come, to the forge with it then; shape it.I would not have things cool.Exeunt

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 中国十大珍品小说文库

    中国十大珍品小说文库

    中国古代小说浩如烟海,经过长期的演化,到明清进入了繁荣期。在众多的小说中,才子佳人、名士英雄的悲欢离合故事,历来深受广大民众的喜爱。我们选编的这套《中国十大珍品小说文库》,选取了其中有代表性的十种小说。它们比较真实地反映了当时的社会生活和时代风貌,堪称小说中的珍品。
  • 武林副萌主:庄主的宠妾

    武林副萌主:庄主的宠妾

    女扮男装去邻国考个文科状元当当?但是,她堂堂X大学毕业生,在美国留学四年正宗海龟,居然名落孙山!好吧,文的不行,咱们走武的,行走江湖……可是,她好像不会武功……好吧,好吧,她有颜值,抱个大腿总行了吧。“这样吧,我今晚陪你,睡,一,夜,把你幻云山庄副庄主位置赏给我坐坐。怎么样?很划算。”某女扯了把衣领,露出美丽的锁骨、诱人香肩,望着高高在上,面容冷峻的男人说道。一干幻云山庄的各大高手皆以为自己的耳朵出现了问题,这简直闪瞎了他们的合金双眼!这女人真的是兴商国公主吗?与怡红院里的姑娘都有得一拼,竟如此豪放!夙痕漆黑的双眸如鹰紧锁苏芸灵,薄唇轻扬起一抹弧度,神色似笑非笑:“好啊。”“……”
  • 五岳仙门

    五岳仙门

    一千多年前,大明仙朝日月神教肆虐,华山,嵩山,泰山,衡山,恒山五大仙门合为一派,与之相抗衡,五派大能,以移山倒海之力把五座山门移到一处,组建五岳仙门。一千多年后,五岳仙门成为大明仙朝一寺三仙门之一的超级势力,丁浩一个小家族子弟,带着祖上的恩惠,拜入华山,成为华山第十七代弟子,众人的小师叔,自此以后,他便麻烦不断。你不服,我可是你师叔,信不信我抽你。各位师侄谁要是欺负你们,不怕,师叔给你们撑腰,看我不削死他....。已完本作品《惊天剑神》《武道证仙》共五百万字,人品保证,请放心阅读。
  • 承天界

    承天界

    炼精化气汇神海、海枯石烂诸天祭、登天斩命永不朽、寂灭轮回难承天!时光悠悠已过万载,荒古大地上的人们似乎已被命运抛弃。万载光阴,无一人能得以承天,多少年少之时的天之骄子,最终却只能在墓地里无声的悲叹。但是这一切,都随着他的到来发生改变。当承天之路开启的那一瞬间,这片荒古大地上的人们,似乎又一次看到了那永生的希望!群雄奋起,逐鹿荒原,且看前无古人的智能形生命将会如何踏上这片天地的顶端!
  • 传承之巅峰至尊

    传承之巅峰至尊

    陆浩然,本是地球一个普通宅男,偶然被一位神界大能选中传承功法,送到修真界苍穹大陆,从此,一段轰轰烈烈的旅程开始了。“我不喜欢凌驾于人,更不喜欢被人踩在脚下,”陆浩然指着上空的星斗,不知在与谁对话。“若你以为我只能走到这里,那就大错特错,在这条通天大路上,谁也无法阻止我前进,哪怕是我自己也不行。”
  • 红罂笔记

    红罂笔记

    真的有那一天……我变成了一个吸血鬼……没有被咬的痕迹,身上的鲜血没有被吸食。可我的心脏……却偷偷的暗流涌动起来……答案已经扑朔迷离,我只能跟随着脚步和那颗企图想要控制我的心脏去慢慢揭示答案。我……我现在需要鲜血~~~~!!!
  • 末曦之迹

    末曦之迹

    史诗涌动的辉煌灿烂米斯兰特又有谁人登顶巅峰泯然于凡世但不甘平庸的神裔消逝在平凡却蠢蠢欲动的黑暗阴谋中伴随笑面危机下隐藏杀戮末世里淡去光芒晨曦之光的倒戈绚烂的魔法交织一幕幕生与死的较量磅礴的斗气映刻一场场血与火的考验黑暗渐渐融入光明之时末曦之迹正缓缓拉开序幕……
  • 我和XXF的故事

    我和XXF的故事

    冥冥中,似有注定。四年后,两个人在一起。我们的开始培训班教室桌面翻书的瞬间偷看了你考卷冥冥中,命中注定。又一个四年后,两个人重逢在一起。分开了四年何时才能见一面散淡的墨香泛黄了你信件一篇未完剧情,多少人能够待续,爱情的世界充满聚和离。李凯江,吴胜美,一对欢喜冤家,一辈子的牵连的故事
  • 带着位面做生意

    带着位面做生意

    前世,她差点失去清白却意外得到位面交易器今生,看她如何利用位面交易器带领全家奔小康帮过她的她双倍偿还;欠她的她也会讨回;看她如何翻手为云覆手雨。再活一世,她要强大自己率性而活
  • 超级杀手战异界

    超级杀手战异界

    超级杀手一朝穿越,灵魂寄宿于异界废柴少年身上!举头三尺有神灵,天庭掌控万物,在这个神灵为尊的世界里,他要如何寻求大道,成就自身无敌道果?