登陆注册
14726500000234

第234章

Everything in their old world had changed but the old forms. The old usages went on, must go on, for the forms were all that were left to them. They were holding tightly to the things they knew best and loved best in the old days, the leisured manners, the courtesy, the pleasant casualness in human contacts and, most of all, the protecting attitude of the men toward their women. True to the tradition in which they had been reared, the men were courteous and tender and they almost succeeded in creating an atmosphere of sheltering their women from all that was harsh and unfit for feminine eyes. That, thought Scarlett, was the height of absurdity, for there was little, now, which even the most cloistered women had not seen and known in the last five years. They had nursed the wounded, closed dying eyes, suffered war and fire and devastation, known terror and flight and starvation.

But, no matter what sights they had seen, what menial tasks they had done and would have to do, they remained ladies and gentlemen, royalty in exile—bitter, aloof, incurious, kind to one another, diamond hard, as bright and brittle as the crystals of the broken chandelier over their heads. The old days had gone but these people would go their ways as if the old days still existed, charming, leisurely, determined not to rush and scramble for pennies as the Yankees did, determined to part with none of the old ways.

Scarlett knew that she, too, was greatly changed. Otherwise she could not have done the things she had done since she was last in Atlanta; otherwise she would not now be contemplating doing what she desperately hoped to do. But there was a difference in their hardness and hers and just what the difference was, she could not, for the moment, tell. Perhaps it was that there was nothing she would not do, and there were so many things these people would rather die than do. Perhaps it was that they were without hope but still smiling at life, bowing gracefully and passing it by. And this Scarlett could not do.

She could not ignore life. She had to live it and it was too brutal, too hostile, for her even to try to gloss over its harshness with a smile. Of the sweetness and courage and unyielding pride of her friends, Scarlett saw nothing. She saw only a silly stiff-neckedness which observed facts but smiled and refused to look them in the face.

As she stared at the dancers, flushed from the reel, she wondered if things drove them as she was driven, dead lovers, maimed husbands, children who were hungry, acres slipping away, beloved roofs that sheltered strangers. But, of course, they were driven! She knew their circumstances only a little less thoroughly than she knew her own. Their losses had been her losses, their privations her privations, their problems her same problems. Yet they had reacted differently to them. The faces she was seeing in the room were not faces; they were masks, excellent masks which would never drop.

But if they were suffering as acutely from brutal circumstances as she was—and they were—how could they this air of gaiety and lightness of heart? Why, indeed, should they even try to do it? They were beyond her comprehension and vaguely irritating. She couldn’t be like them. She couldn’t survey the wreck of the world with an air of casual unconcern. She was as hunted as a fox, running with a bursting heart, trying to reach a burrow before the hounds caught up.

Suddenly she hated them all because they were different from her, because they carried their losses with an air that she could never attain, would never wish to attain. She hated them, these smiling, light-footed strangers, these proud fools who took pride in something they had lost, seeming to be proud that they had lost it. The women bore themselves like ladies and she knew they were ladies, though menial tasks were their daily lot and they didn’t know where their next dress was coming from. Ladies all! But she could not feel herself a lady, for all her velvet dress and scented hair, for all the pride of birth that stood behind her and the pride of wealth that had once been hers. Harsh contact with the red earth of Tara had stripped gentility from her and she knew she would never feel like a lady again until her table was weighted with silver and crystal and smoking with rich food, until her own horses and carriages stood in her stables, until black hands and not white took the cotton from Tara.

“Ah!” she thought angrily, sucking in her breath. That’s the difference! Even though they’re poor, they still feel like ladies and I don’t. The silly fools don’t seem to realize that you can’t be a lady without money!”

Even in this flash of revelation, she realized vaguely that, foolish though they seemed, theirs was the right attitude. Ellen would have thought so. This disturbed her. She knew she should feel as these people felt, but she could not. She knew she should believe devoutly, as they did, that a born lady remained a lady, even if reduced to poverty, but she could not make herself believe it now.

All her life she had heard sneers hurled at the Yankees because their pretensions to gentility were based on wealth, not breeding. But at this moment, heresy though it was, she could not help thinking the Yankees were right on this one matter, even if wrong in all others. It took money to be a lady. She knew Ellen would have fainted had she ever heard such words from her daughter. No depth of poverty could ever have made Ellen feel ashamed. Ashamed! Yet, that was how Scarlett felt. Ashamed that she was poor and reduced to galling shifts and penury and work that negroes should do.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 都市刚烈传

    都市刚烈传

    学拳十年的牛刚烈,本来只为了赚钱供养家人师父,谁知却在这灯红酒绿的京城,和校花、老师、明星、等等美女。发生一段爱恨情仇的故事。
  • 万源道主

    万源道主

    大山中偏居一偶的古老魔族,一位受尽欺凌的穿越少年带着执着缓缓走入了残酷的世界。迟来的传承,未尽的任务,上古之谜就此揭开神秘的面纱。万界争仙,我只为守护所爱。唯我独尊,我便是万源道主。
  • 争霸暗世界

    争霸暗世界

    李汉本是一个普普通通的乡村留守儿童,不服管教。后来受到一些外来刺激,开始认真学习考上了理想的大学。毕业后因为世态炎凉,经历沉浮后无奈走上了一条世人眼中的不归路,开始接触国内的及国外的,前卫的及传统的,历史悠久的及创立不久的帮派中人,他的队伍在腥风血雨中壮大,他本人在挫折磨难中一步步通往地下世界权力之巅。
  • 颠覆历史寻情记:女主天下

    颠覆历史寻情记:女主天下

    本文由花雨授权作者:于佳上下五千年,纵横九万里——“寻情记”。《醉年书》:小长老女子堪为南唐后主李煜之师;《公主嫁》:东汉长公主与硬脖子县令的恩怨纠葛;《孙将儿》:明成祖朱棣暗探宁夏庆王爷;《战爵爷》:大将军费扬古和准噶尔部公主的父仇族恨;《小太后》:立世三朝冯太后的爱恨一生;《何夫子》:小小印书女玩掌康熙朝末年九子夺嫡;准备好了吗?开始说书了!本系列仅在腾讯免费全文2本。
  • 环境造就我们

    环境造就我们

    一个高考落榜的少年,一个自主招生的形式念的大学,本因对大学生活向往,却不知因为种种失望,却过着人在自我内心与现实冲突的无限磨砺中的自我成长历程。
  • 绝代公子

    绝代公子

    他不缺红颜知己,但他从不滥情。他没有盖世才学,却被世人敬仰。他风流却不下流,他就是——绝代公子!
  • 易纬是类谋

    易纬是类谋

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 双生恋花:魔妃,有点萌!

    双生恋花:魔妃,有点萌!

    不论如何,双生胎总有一个会扣上坏人的帽子,无论你如何解释也没人愿相信………夜挽歌与夜未央本是对双生姐妹花,却因她们出世的异象,而决定了她们的未来。红发血瞳的双生姐姐―夜挽歌,被世人喻为不祥的象征,封印在仙气环绕的冰山之中,言震压魔气。而双生妹妹―夜未央,喻为九天玄女而被“保护”在高塔之中,无法接通外界信息、解救姐姐…………十五年后,封印的夜挽歌被神秘的女声唤醒,她感应到妹妹夜未央的气息正以飞速的离逝…为了妹妹,她冲破封印的牢笼……她,将从现在开始!
  • 那年我们都爱笑

    那年我们都爱笑

    那年,那天,我们毕业了。许多往事也尘封在心底。我从来都不后悔我爱过,也痛过。恍惚之间好像你又回来了,那个会害羞的你。冷漠的你。生气的你。仅此此文献给曾经在青葱岁月中奋力爱过的人,努力拼搏的人,辛勤教导的老师。愿,我能唤起你的回忆呢。
  • 最强鉴宝

    最强鉴宝

    春秋时期,楚人卞和两次献璧,无奈两任楚王皆混眼不识,砍其左右双脚。卞和泣玉荆山,三日泪竭,泣血而亡……石砬子,福寿珠宝的一个小杂役,因为一场车祸险些丧命,醒来时,平白无故多了一份属于卞和的思想。自此,血瞳识玉、探手摸宝,一跃成为鉴宝天才,千金小姐要以身相许,霸道总裁想拜为兄弟……